Birth, Death, and Rebirth

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Birth, Death, and Rebirth surround us our whole lives. It is the cycle of life. We all know this. Lately however these three have been doing their dance before my eyes in a way that has caused me to pause and pay attention so I can see them and I suppose accept and learn from them and, I think, see their beauty.

Death seems to be hovering around the edges of my life lately. There has been little to no rain here and so our green earth is dying (except however, for herbs that grow naturally and are beneficial to us…hmmmm….Remember. I DON’T believe in coincidences. :)). Several of my friends and acquaintances have experienced the death of a precious loved one. There is the very sad situation in Colorado. I guess it is always like this, but it doesn’t always seem to be “hovering around our edges”.

In the midst of all of this death has been birth and rebirth. I gave birth to my fourth child, a beautiful, precious, healthy baby boy. Before I found out I was pregnant I began a rather extensive journey of rebirth. Before there can be rebirth there must be death. Death happens from the very first moment we arrive on this earth when we must let go, say good bye to the womb which was our home. Death happens on a small scale in our life each time we let go or say good bye.

It just is.

When we allow death however, there is always birth or rebirth. While I was pregnant with my new little one my “Mommy Intuition” told me we were having a girl. I had been right with my other children, so I was pretty certain. Needless to say, it was a bit of a shock when, after 20 + minutes of rather intense pushing, my husband (rather smugly :)) remarked, ” Jack’s got a little brother!” It took me about 5 hours and a nap with this new little soul before I felt myself fall head over heels in LOVE and knew with every ounce of my being I wouldn’t trade him for all the girls in the world. I had to have time to process, to let go, let die, the dream of having a little girl because really, it was a beautiful and gentle hearted little boy I was holding in my arms. He was also the precious soul who had asked me almost two years ago to be his mama and it truly just doesn’t matter what form was chosen for the journey. 🙂

On August 21 st of last  year I was using the Path of the Soul Destiny Cards by Cheryl Lee Harnish and asked, “What do I most need to know today?” I drew the rebirth card and knew in that moment I was beginning a new part of my life’s journey. About a month later, after having decided and come to terms with not having any more children, I found out I was pregnant. As an ever present sign of my rebirthing process, I saw my own birthdate and time frequently throughout my pregnancy.

I knew there were changes I needed to make, new parts of me that needed to be birthed, old parts of me that were shut down and needed to be reborn…but in order for that to happen there were parts that needed to die as well; parts that needed to be let go.

My pregnancy was a time for the parts of me that I needed to give birth to, to incubate and grow. About two weeks before my baby was born, death began to happen around me. Now, tonight, 2 months later, death has revisited to show me life goes on and I have been feeling heavy, so heavy and ready to shed A LOT of “stuff”. It almost feels like my whole home just needs to go along with everyTHING in it. I’ve been feeling cluttered and cocooned and the need to declutter and break free.

While taking a bath with my precious new baby tonight and watching him excited and learning how to make his new body work, I was thinking about how amazing life is, about all  the people I know and love who have experienced the death of a precious loved one recently, about how terrified I am of experiencing that same reality, of the part of me I know I need to let die, and that life teaches us about letting go, and how fascinating synchronicity is (Yes, its exhausting being me sometimes :)).

Right now it is finally time to allow the part of me who is embarrassed, ashamed, and afraid to love me, die. I don’t remember ever really loving me, so this is a scary death to experience too. Though not the same as losing someone you love.

Life is ever changing, we are ever growing and ever dying, whether we choose to realize it or not.

What might you need to let die today? Death is a scary word and a scary reality, but it doesn’t have to be…Beauty and Peace can arise out of death.

Within a few short hours of my latest revelation the skies opened and rained and they rained again as I was writing ” Beauty and Peace can arise out of death.”

What Beauty and Peace await you today? 🙂

Love!

Jessica